On Friday, I embarked on a kind-of spur-of-the-moment road trip to the southern Appalachians.
On Saturday, I arrived in Asheville for Bele Chere 2007. With all downtown streets becoming pedestrian for the festival, it was easy to explore leisurely. After buying a pint of organic IPA, I listened to reggae, shopped (yay for fantastic finds at vintage boutique), and enjoyed the Burt’s Bees mini spa.
After Bele Chere, Jimmy Buffett’s Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant was the next destination.
Memo to general manager: You are a theme restaurant. You do not compete on food; you compete on atmosphere. You failed. The mood was somber; funeral parlors have better atmospheres. Also, you were wearing a suit. IT IS A BEACH RESTAURANT. Wear at least a Hawaiian shirt! The number of Buffett songs I heard during my hour-long meal: ONE. It wasn’t even “Cheeseburger in Paradise” or “Margaritaville.” You could have least played those instead of “5 O’clock Somewhere” which isn’t even on one of Buffett’s CDs. Any self-respecting Parrothead would be thoroughly disappointed. You let me down. You really did and as a die-hard Parrothead, I did not think this was possible.
Somehow I was able to find the Blue Ridge Parkway from downtown Asheville without getting on the interstate (it was all luck). Replacing Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band in the CD player with Songs You Know By Heart, it took only a few verses of “Cheeseburger in Paradise” before all was well again in Margaritaville. Cruising down the Blue Ridge Parkway listening to Buffett and later Prairie Home Companion, I thought to myself: “This is the good life.”
PS. Gatlinburg, TN should carry a warning sign: “If you have ever been anywhere in this world, you will be disappointed with our low-life version of hell.”
