Well, folks, it seems like summer is quickly approaching and I am trying really hard to not have a repeat of last summer. Those months were the worst part of my time here. They should have been great because my parents and sister came for an extended amount of time but the harassment and lack of work was almost unbearable. This time around, I am determined not to let summer's evils get me down.
I have such conflicting notions about summer. On one hand, I like that each passing day means I am closer to seeing my family. On the other hand, I am not excited about the steadily-increasing harassment.
On one hand, I am closer and closer to my fabulous European vacation with my previously-mentioned family. On the other hand, it's hard to stay positive during wedding season.
On one hand, I inch closer to my COS date (November 20, 2009). On the other hand, I am nearer to the day that I must say goodbye to the place I have called home and the people who have taught me so much the last almost-2 years.
Yes, time is bittersweet.
Right now, though, there is so much to enjoy. The ground is soooo green. So green, in fact that at times, it looks fake. The computer literacy classes that have been my main focus the last 5 months are going extremely well. The women are enjoying themselves and going beyond their pre-defined limits. In my entire time here, this is the one work project that has given me the most excitement. It is what sustains me and will continue to sustain me for the next 6 months. Without the classes and these incredible women, I seriously doubt I would still be here.
Last year at this time was when I started to have my first feelings of cynicism and bitterness towards Peace Corps and Morocco. Since then, these feelings have followed an up and down cycle. Truthfully, it is good for me to show a bit of cynicism and speak with a hint of bitterness. This means I have truly lived in another culture: the experience of the honeymoon phase with all its ignorance, the gradual loss of that ignorance and the internal conflicts it creates, the sloooow acceptance of the cultural norms and customs, and the difficult job of achieving the balancing act necessary to solve the internal conflicts. Some days, I find the perfect balance and some days, I do not.
On the surface and in books, it seems like all these cultural ups and downs are parts of a cycle and eventually, everything will come full circle. In reality, there is so much more to the circle. You cannot go back to the beginning. That would be like forgetting all the trials and tribulations, the triumphs and disappoints of my service. This is the thinking I take into summer while continuously trying to remind myself that summer is just another part of the cycle so take the good with the bad and smile along the way.
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